My Husband and His Extra Marital Affair

One fine morning my husband was in a pensive mood not paying attention to my non stop nonsense of chattering. I actually sensed something was brewing up in the background as for the past few days he seemed to slip off into deep thoughts too frequently .

Not able to resist my curiosity anymore I asked what the matter was. As though he was just waiting for this one question from me, he started pouring his heart about "Gita". He said had he known of "Gita" earlier itself,his entire life would have been so wonderful and happy and that "Gita" would have supported him at all times of his difficulties.

Tears started rolling down my eyes.All this while I was thinking of myself as an epitome of a "pativrita" wife and little did I know that my husband had been longing for Gita.

But who is this Gita???.

My husband burst out in laughter on seeing my tears and explained to me that it was "Bhagavad Gita" that he had been talking about. For a moment there was a sigh of relief from me..but immediately I fell into the hands of insecurity not knowing what made him interested in Bhagavad Gita .I had been having this impression that Bhagavad Gita was meant for people who are either unsatisfied with their life not knowing what to do next,or for old people who are waiting for their exit from this world.

My hubby offered me no further explanation..but handed over a few CDs titled "lectures of Swami Paramarthananda on Bhagavad Gita" and asked me to try my luck with those. It has been over a month now since I started listening to these lectures and my opinion of this great work has changed completely.

I now truly understand why this discourse has transcended beyond time.It is a great guide to the "perfect mental make up" and "positive way of life" that would help us in the journey of our life . It challenges the concept of fatalistic attitude and myths that life is nothing but a series of events where we meekly succumb to destiny . It gives a step by step guidance to the development of optimistic attitude . It demystifies the key to a contented life.

The backdrop of the Mahabharatha war and the state of confusion that Arjuna was when this discourse was delivered directly map to the challenges we face in our daily lives(which itself is a battle in its own way) and the dilemma that we face in taking our day to day decisions. These days we have so many options offered to us in a golden platter that we are having to constantly struggle to arrive at the "right" decision.This convinced me of the fact that Gita's study should be pursued in the early part of lives to equip ourselves for a mentally healthy life and not when we are at our end feeling exhausted after an eventful 70 years.

I could find a striking similarity between the talks of motivational speaker Anthony Robbins (who has turned the world upside down with his ideas) and the preachings of Bhagavad Gita. Perhaps not exploring the complete potential of these great works we are re-inventing the wheel over and over again.

These days I am happy for my husband to continue his love for Gita and devote his time for "her" .After all such extra marital affairs do more good than harm :-)

Hubby jaan

Nothing astonishes people so much as common sense and plain dealing.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) U.S. poet, essayist and lecturer.

How true these words are!!!..In an era empowered by information overloading and jargon busters, sheer common sense seems to be very rare..however I should not complain of this as I have a personification of common sense with me all the time..yes you guessed it right ..it is my hubby jaan(perhaps jaanvar).

While I go through loads and loads of books and websites to familiarise myself with anything new , starting from learning parenting techniques to solving a scripting problem at office , my husband always arrives at the goal post with a much simpler solution and much earlier than me. All he says he needed for this was "an iota of common sense".

A classic example was when I tried to follow the "positive parenting technique" recommended by most books these days and kept on uttering "good job good job" to my 19 months old toddler girl for what ever silly she did. My husband who had been observing this for a while kept warning me that it did not seem to be a pragmatic approach for a "sensible upbringing" of a kid. As usual I never paid heed to his words as I thought this was not his "domain" .To me..this was further reinforced by the fact that he had never ever browsed through any paper or electronic materials about parenting (let alone positive parenting).

However it did not take too long for the truth to dawn upon me. My positive parenting had gone to such heights that I had to scream "good job good job" on the top of my voice for 15 continuous minutes for my daughter to even attend to nature's call on her potty.

It was then that I realised that , as kids we never had this "falsely positive " environment. In fact we were brought up with the strength to face all realities of life and deal with issues and not assume as though they never existed. It was this strength that helped us in adapting to a country which is so different and complex in terms of culture,language,ethnicity and what not. I understood I had to impart to my daughter the resilience needed to bounce back from any adversity rather than trying to project life as a "bed of roses" to her.Appreciation and recognition in excess could lead to bloating up of her false ego and could cause her more harm than good. I now want her to identify the "real her" in her ..feel happy about her positive points and be courageous enough to accept her weaknesses, address them and convert them into areas of improvement.

Once again I knew my husband had arrived at the goal post much earlier than me only to find me staggering behind with a "foolish and apologetic" look on my face .Well better late than never :-)

Peer Pressure - Oops not so soon!!!!

I was talking to a friend of mine about her schedule next week and she goes.."Mad academy on Monday, tumble tots on Tuesday, Jo Jingles on Friday"

"wow" I replied asking her "you are so busy ...are these some classes that you are attending??"..

She goes" no no..these are the classes that my 1 year old little one attends ".

I just did not know what to reply...anyway she did not seem to be waiting for a reply from me and she goes" you see all these are very important for the "personality development", "inter-personal communication" , "musical skills development" blah blah blah.....of the baby"

I was happy that she did not forget that her little one was still a "baby" . All this she said are meant to prepare the baby for her pre-school.

It seems madness to me that this goes on in cycles. Few years back we never had the concept of pre-school..then pre-schools emerged from no-where as preparatory sessions for schools. Now I understand that there are hundred and one classes that prepare the babies for pre-school. Not to mention the charge of at least £5 per session per baby.

I also never fail to notice the levels of expectations that we have on our kids and we always demand the best out of our kids no matter what..but realistically are our kids able to cope up with all this??...are parents ever willing to accept that each kid is different and develops at a different pace and there are no strict benchmarks at least until they reach a certain age????.....

well I don't know and anyway I have no time to ponder on this as I am leaving to book my 19 months old daughter into "jo jingles" class :-)..that is peer pressure you see :-)

Bharathanatyam and "www"

Bharathanatyam needs no introduction to the people who hail from the land of "Vedic Culture".It is one of the oldest art forms and preserved with its purity ,the art has been handed down to us as a living tradition by our previous generations.

While I was browsing for some article about the theoretical aspect of this art form on the internet..I did come across a site that said "learning Bharathanatyam online".I could not believe my own eyes for a moment. This site had "algorithmic" instructions embedded in it on how to perform dancing , starting from the first step of Bharathanatyam .While I do appreciate the earnest efforts of the creator of that site to spread this ancient art as wide as possible, I have my own apprehensions about what impacts this is going to cause to the originality and purity of Bharathanatyam .

Bharatanatyam has its wide range of movements and postures and a balanced melange of the rhythmic and mimetic aspects and is often referred to as Natya Shastra. To this day it has been taught in a formal environment known as "Guru - Sishya" environment.It is so much of an intricate art form that it needs a visual, methodical , systematic and a long term commitment both from the student and the teacher to imbibe it into our system.

Mere words and pencil sketching cannot bring out all the dimensions of this great dance form and this opens up innumerable avenues for mis-interpretation and hence could result in something else which is "similar" to Bharathanatyam but not "Bharathanatyam" itself.

There has been a specific reason for the way Bharathanatyam and other Indian art forms have been taught in a formal environment as our culture does not accept anything less than "PERFECTION".


It would be a great injustice if this art is distorted from its pure form and I earnestly request that we(our generation) , in our quest for blending the technology with art forms should not become the perpetrators of this .

Home Maker

I can't help but notice the word "Home Maker" being used instead of "House Wife" these days..I should admit that this gives a new perspective to the way married women a who stay at home are viewed ...I was one of the "founding members of women's lib(??) association of this century ) during my early years (not that I am in my sixties now ). I always had the idea that women were born to achieve..."achievement" to me was to climb up the corporate ladder in a pace unforeseeable .I had a lot of hyper-successful people around me even as I grew up. I assumed that family , husband, kids would go on in an auto-pilot mode . I would attribute this more to the outlook of the outside world these days with the emphasis laid more and more on the financial and material aspects of life.

Marriage turned everything upside down (thanks to my husband) and I realised that women are distinct NOT because of their ability to become over night "Vice Presidents" but the completeness that they bring to the family. It is the women (in my opinion ) who are genetically programmed to bring(perhaps shower!!!) the "warmth" to her kid ..Husbands are truly great supporters but can never play the lead role in a family in creating the bond and keeping it intact with its natural fragrance .I have quit my job to take care of my toddler girl and am enjoying completely whatever this phase of my life has to offer me . I can now truly appreciate the phrase "Home Maker" and that there is nothing "uncomfortable" in calling ourselves so.

I will definitely return back to work after a few years once my daughter is able to manage(fully/partly) on her own..only with a slight difference ..The urgency to make it to the top of the organisation in the shortest possible span of time would have faded away and I would enjoy my slow and steady professional journey together with the satisfaction of contributing to my family as a "woman".

Hiya !!!!

hi all,

I have never ever had the intention of blogging before but I am now here just to figure out whether it is really interesting to do one or if it is just a mere hype !!!!!!!!!. I have no idea of what to begin with and where to start from..anyways guess something should pop out of my mind whenever I intend to post something new :-)

I am no extraordinary person with a never ending list of achievements ..I rate myself as a happy wife , mom of a cute little girl who happens to be my 24*7 employer at the moment. I have had my fair share of training in Bharathanatyam and Software Engineering (though currently both seem to be "memories of the past".)

I am here to share with you my thoughts, just write about literally anything sane and inherit a feeling of satisfaction that I am in touch with the rest of the world :-).

Please feel free to leave your impressions as comments and enlighten me with anything that you feel is worthwhile sharing .


take care,
itz me!!!