Hubby jaan

Nothing astonishes people so much as common sense and plain dealing.

Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882) U.S. poet, essayist and lecturer.

How true these words are!!!..In an era empowered by information overloading and jargon busters, sheer common sense seems to be very rare..however I should not complain of this as I have a personification of common sense with me all the time..yes you guessed it right ..it is my hubby jaan(perhaps jaanvar).

While I go through loads and loads of books and websites to familiarise myself with anything new , starting from learning parenting techniques to solving a scripting problem at office , my husband always arrives at the goal post with a much simpler solution and much earlier than me. All he says he needed for this was "an iota of common sense".

A classic example was when I tried to follow the "positive parenting technique" recommended by most books these days and kept on uttering "good job good job" to my 19 months old toddler girl for what ever silly she did. My husband who had been observing this for a while kept warning me that it did not seem to be a pragmatic approach for a "sensible upbringing" of a kid. As usual I never paid heed to his words as I thought this was not his "domain" .To me..this was further reinforced by the fact that he had never ever browsed through any paper or electronic materials about parenting (let alone positive parenting).

However it did not take too long for the truth to dawn upon me. My positive parenting had gone to such heights that I had to scream "good job good job" on the top of my voice for 15 continuous minutes for my daughter to even attend to nature's call on her potty.

It was then that I realised that , as kids we never had this "falsely positive " environment. In fact we were brought up with the strength to face all realities of life and deal with issues and not assume as though they never existed. It was this strength that helped us in adapting to a country which is so different and complex in terms of culture,language,ethnicity and what not. I understood I had to impart to my daughter the resilience needed to bounce back from any adversity rather than trying to project life as a "bed of roses" to her.Appreciation and recognition in excess could lead to bloating up of her false ego and could cause her more harm than good. I now want her to identify the "real her" in her ..feel happy about her positive points and be courageous enough to accept her weaknesses, address them and convert them into areas of improvement.

Once again I knew my husband had arrived at the goal post much earlier than me only to find me staggering behind with a "foolish and apologetic" look on my face .Well better late than never :-)